“I’ll be happy when I get that promotion” … “I’ll be happy when I lose 20 pounds” ….”I’ll be happy in next year.” How many of us wait to be happy? Too many of us that is.
In this week’s episode I talk about how to be happier, not tomorrow, not when so and so is achieved, but how to be happier today, right now.
I discuss what we attach our happiness to, how to change our mindset to promote happy thoughts and emotions, why practice is so important, and the steps you can take to be happier today.
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WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
How happiness is an inside job
Why external attachment causes short-lived happiness
The need to practice being happy
The 3 steps to take and the 2 question to ask to be happier TODAY
FEATURED ON THE SHOW
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hello, hello, hello, welcome to Happy Productive episode number 25. I’m Jennifer Dawn, a business coach and founder of Best Planner Ever. The Happy Productive podcast is your go to resource for learning how to bring awareness into your productivity goals and time management practices so you can set yourself up each and every day for as much love happiness and joy as you can possibly handle. And who doesn’t want more of that?
Alright, today we’re going to be talking about how to be happier TODAY, not tomorrow, not when something happens not when we’re richer or skinnier, or in a relationship or out of a relationship or whatever it else that we might be attaching our happiness to. Instead, what we’re talking about day today is how to be happier, right now today. And here’s the thing about happiness, and this took me so long to learn, it really, really did. And that’s why in this podcast, I want to make sure that I share everything that I’ve learned, because I’m hoping that it’s going to shorten your curve, maybe you won’t have to go through quite so much of the trial and error that I went through.
Now happiness is an inside job, it’s in your heart, it’s in your mind. Logically, we might, you know, get the concept, right, like we understand it. But emotionally, it doesn’t really start to click in until we can really, really feel it. So if you understand the concept, but you’re not feeling it, just stick with it and just start to really pursue this path of knowing that happiness is an inside job. It is not found through external stuff. And what I mean by this is that we think, oh, if I get that new car, then I’ll be happy. Oh, if I lose 20 pounds, then I’ll be happy, right? Oh, if my husband miraculously changes all of his bad habits overnight, then I’ll be happy.
And sure, of course, temporarily, we get the new car, we lose the weight, the husband acts right for a few days, okay, fine, we’re happy. But it’s short-lived. Because the new car could break down, right, we could gain that weight right back, the husband can go back to his ways, like all these things externally, can shift and they can change. And when they do and they will, it will throw us off, right? And so if we put our happiness on external things, like material possessions are people doing you know exactly what we want them to do. As soon as those things change, it’s just going to mess us up, and it’s going to throw up our throw off our happiness.
However, if our happiness is an inside job, right, and we are happy on the inside, then it really doesn’t matter what happens on the outside, Sure, we’re going to have to still deal with life, life happens. But it’s not going to rock us off our center, we can still stay balanced, we can still say happy, we can still stay positive, we can still feel good, even if we’re having to deal with something unpleasant that life has delivered. And it will. So this is our pursuit is to really and truly focus on the happiness being inside us. instead of pointing the finger at all these external things that need to change in order for us to feel better on the inside, okay.
The other thing that can happen is that if our minds are just bombarded with negative thinking, that’s also going to make it pretty tough for us to be happy because of happiness is an inside job. And on the inside, we feel pretty negative or pretty down on ourselves. That’s going to make it even tougher. So in order to experience more happiness, starting right now today, it starts by first making a decision. Now this might sound like, well, what does that have to do with anything but it’s the most important first step, making a decision that we want to be happier today.
And I mean, this I’m serious. Have you ever in your life, made a decision and you decided I’m going to go do this, and nothing in heaven and earth is going to stop me and then you went and you did it right? Because you made a decision. 100% fully in, nothing is stopping me. That’s the kind of decision we’re looking for when it comes to your happiness. Look, I don’t care what’s happening in my external world. I don’t care what people are doing. I don’t care what my business is doing, my family or friends might be doing. I don’t care what kind of house I live in, what kind of car I drive, right? I don’t care about any of this stuff. I am going to first make the decision that I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be happy no matter what.
And that’s what we mean by the first step is making that decision and if you have not made that decision, if you are holding on to all this junk and you are holding on to negative emotions, you’re not going to be able to bring that happiness inside. And really and truly keep it there. So the first thing you have to do is like, Hey, I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care what habits I have to change, I don’t care what thinking I need to change, I’m going to decide right now today that I’m going to be happy. Alright, so that’s the first step is make the decision.
The second is by starting to change our mindset. If our mindset is nothing good ever happens to me, no matter what I do, I’m never going to get where I want, right? If those limiting beliefs of these thoughts are just all over our thinking, it’s going to be really hard to experience that happiness that we’re after. So first, we make the decision, you know what, I don’t care, all this stuff is going on, I’m ready to be happy.
Second, I’m going to do whatever I need to do on my own mindset, to change my thinking, to change my habits to change my patterns to change my limiting beliefs. Because as soon as I start to make that internal shift, the external stuff is going to start to just line up. But it requires you to make that internal shift in your own thinking and your own mindset.
And then third, is we then practice, we practice these good habits. We practice sitting with that decision, we practice changing our mindset, we practice better habits. And we practice, practice, practice, practice, because it is it is a practice. And like anything, you know, you don’t just sit down at the piano and begin to just beautifully play Beethoven, it doesn’t work that way. I wish I did. But it doesn’t work that way. I’m learning to play the violin, I’m so bad that I’m surprised my teacher lets me come back every week to our lesson, but she does. And you know, learning to play an instrument. It’s not an easy thing. It requires practice, practice, practice, but like anything, like when you do it, and you get better, it feels so good.
And it’s the same with our mindset, okay, and it’s the same with our happiness, we have to literally practice being unhappy, which sounds crazy. But in a society like ours, where so many things are focused on the negative and the drama, and all of this stuff that we are bombarded with on a daily basis, it can be hard, but we really, truly do have to practice being happy.
And I want to share with you two questions that you can ask yourself each and every day. And this is a great way to start to begin to practice happiness every single day. So here are the questions. Number one, what are you grateful for today? And number two, what did you love about yourself today? And I really want you to take some time with these questions.
Number one, what are you grateful for? Okay, it’s really easy to list I have a home to live in, and I have a great family and the sky is blue and the sun is shining and blah, blah, blah, right? We can we can, you know, just kind of dial it in with easy answers that don’t necessarily really tap into our real gratitude.
So I really want you to take this question to a deeper level. What are you grateful for think of a challenge in your life, think of something crappy that happened to you? And what is the lesson that you learned from that? Okay, that kind of thinking is going to tap you into your gratitude. You know, this thing happened, but I learned how to set a boundary, it was really uncomfortable. But because I learned to set boundaries, I was able to do that in my life. And those boundaries really helped me to experience greater happiness in my life. Okay, that’s the kind of stuff here that we’re looking for.
Let’s say that you have a relationship in your life, and it’s, it’s challenging. So what are you grateful for in that challenging relationship? Right, flip it, really put your mind to work looking for things that you are truly grateful for and look for those negative or challenging situations. And start by focusing your gratitude right there. Those are great ways right to practice deciding that you’re going to be happy and changing your mindset and starting to shift your perspective on how you see things.
Secondly, what did you love about yourself today, it’s so easy for us to be so hard on ourselves and to beat ourselves up. If you listen to last week’s episode about you know, putting those hundred pounds sacks on our back and then trying to force ourselves to run up hill and it does not work. So this is another shift that is so required for our own happiness, self love, self compassion, right? Being kind to ourselves first. So really take a moment and answer this question. What did you love about yourself today, and I really want you to feel it. When you feel it, you’re going to feel that happiness, it just like it just this warm, wonderful sense sensation.
When you start to express love and compassion all over yourself. Now you’re going to be tapped into those amazing emotions and guess what you’re going to be able to share that with the world and all the people that come into contact with you. Not only is it wonderful for yourself, and it’s going to help you be happier right now today, but it’s also going to help every single person around you who comes into contact with you. It’s also going to expand their happiness and their love and their joy.
All right, you guys. So that is today’s podcast short and sweet. If you truly want to be happier today, it starts with you making a decision, taking the steps to change your mindset. And then practice, practice, practice and use those two questions each and every day in your practice to start shifting, and I promise if you really take this seriously, without any doubt whatsoever, you’re going to start feeling more happiness right now, right this minute despite anything external going on in your life.
Alright, if you would like some more help with this, of course, feel free to come check me out at my website jenniferdawncoaching.com. I help business owners like you, each and every day overcome all of these things and experience more love and joy in their own lives and of course more success and money in their businesses.
If you’ve made the decision to be happier today, and you want a time management system to support you, consider checking out my Best Planner Ever and you can find that at www.bestplannerever.com. Thank you so much for listening today, you guys. I know your time is valuable. I hope you’ve taken away something important and even more importantly, I hope you really apply this to your life. Now get out there and have a Happy Productive day. Bye!
Xo
Jennifer